we're chasing vodka with high fives
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
