Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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