dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
