sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The uberlube is also flammable
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
