are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
