remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
