Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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