just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
