arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
So squirting runs in the family.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
