I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
