I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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