Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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