thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
