Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
