She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
