I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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