Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
