uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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