The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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