and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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