were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
