How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
