What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
