You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
