my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize