fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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