Non-Jews are for practice
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
