do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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