Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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