He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
