But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
