College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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