woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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