I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
