where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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