In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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