your room smells of hookers.
And success
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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