i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
