Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
