i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
