loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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