I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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