all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize