How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
