Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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