Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
