you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
