it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
