the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
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She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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