uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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