onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
