i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
