i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize