I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You ate ashes out of my bong
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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