Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
