You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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