I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
