The maid of honor just puked.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
