how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
