Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
