Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize
