how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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